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Quirkology
July 10, 2007, 3:52 pm
Filed under: Lifeskills

Random notes taken down from Quirkology by Richard Wiseman

Here are some takeaways I get after reading Quirkology. They probably look pretty random as a whole but the book itself is coherent.

  1. A real smile involves both the eyes and the mouth; a fake smile only involves the mouth.
  2. The best personal ad: 70% of it should be about yourself, while the remaining 30% should be about your prospective partner.
  3. Women should get men to write their personal ads.
  4. Body language is not a good indication of a liar; it is too easily faked.
  5. Choice of words and the way it is said are better indicators of lies. Liars provide less details, associates themselves less with the use of the word “I” and tend to fuss over and remember the smallest of details.

Wiseman did extensive research on the funniest jokes in the world and cited quite a few examples in the book. Here are some that I particularly liked:

Did you hear about the man who was proud when he completed a jigsaw within thirty minutes, because it said ‘five to six years’ on the box?

An idiot was walking along a river, when he spied another idiot on the other side of the river. The first idiot yelled to the second idiot: “How do I get to the other side?” The second idiot responded immediately: “You’re already on the other side!”

A guy goes to his priest and says “I feel terrible. I am a doctor and I have slept with some of my patients.” The priest looks concerned, and then tries to make the man feel better by saying, “You aren’t the first doctor to sleep with your patients and you won’t be the last. Perhaps you shouldn’t feel so guilty.”  “You don’t understand,” says the man. “I’m a vet.”

A man walking down the street sees another man with a very big dog. The man says: “Does your dog bite?”  The other man replies: “No, my dog doesn’t bite.” The first man then pats the dog, has his hand bitten off, and shouts: “I thought you said your dog didn’t bite.” The other man replies: “That’s not my dog.”

Two fish in a tank. One turns to the other and says: “Do you know how to drive this?”

There were two cows in a field. One said: “Moo.” The other one said: “I was going to say that!”

A shipwreck survivor washes up on the beach of an island and is surrounded by a group of warriors. “I’m done for,” the man cries in despair. “No, you are not,” comes a booming voice from the heavens. “Listen carefully, and do exactly as I say. Grab a spear and push it through the heart of the warrior chief.” The man does what he is told, turn to the heavens and asks, “Now what?” The booming voice replies, “Now you are done for.”

THE WORLD’S FUNNIEST JOKE (apparently)

Two hunter are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn’t seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, “My friend is dead! What can I do?” The operator says, “Calm down. I can help. First, let’s make sure he’s dead.” There is silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says “OK, now what?”

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