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NLP pointers
August 17, 2008, 2:14 am
Filed under: Lifeskills | Tags: , , , , ,

Personal notes on NLP principles and techniques based on a book on NLP I read…

Key principles

  • Feedback – there is no failure, only feedback
  • Sensory acuity – hone and use your senses to gather information and change accordingly to achieve what you want
  • Mind – understand how the human psyche works and employ mental tools and physical techniques for your development
  • Self – know and handle yourself before you can reach out to the world

Tools

  • Anchors – remember in vivid detail resourceful/positive states and anchor them to a bodily action. E.g. anchor a feeling of renewed energy to pressing thumb and third finger together. Also, notice how certain actions/events trigger particular desired/undesired feelings, and cope with them by being conscious of them.
  • Associate/dissociate – 2 states of the mind in any event. Try to associate when you need to be alert and aware of circumstance, dissociation can be useful where there is a traumatic event. To associate engage all the senses and have a sense of “now”. To dissociate imagine you are a fly on the wall observing things from afar.
  • Behavioural flexibility – When your actions does not produce a desired result, CHANGE your actions without hesitation. Only madmen do the same things over and again and expect something different to happen.
  • Chunking – people process information at different levels, and prefer to process at certain levels. To communicate better, talk at their level. Big picture people like broader views.
  • Contrastive analysis – seek contrasts; see the difference that makes a difference when you compare two drastically different outcomes achieved by seemingly similar means. That way you refine your skills and understanding of success.
  • Framing – learn to reframe events. A change of perspective can invigorate and motivate.
  • Modelling – Very important. Model people who achieved what you want, find out what makes them tick and what they do to be successful.
  • Pacing and leading – mimicking speed of speech, actions to develop rapport, before leading the other person.
  • Rapport – the key to interpersonal success. Find out the level at which a person thinks (e.g. kinaesthetic, auditory, goals, dreams) and communicate at that level, pacing and leading all along.

Self-esteem

  • Have a strong sense of self. Value yourself, you matter.
  • Have quiet confidence
  • Accept compliments, but don’t fish for them. Don’t boast, don’t show off, don’t put others down.
  • Recognise and be interested in other people and their achievements.
  • Body language – good eye contact, relaxed, upright, calm and measured in movement, decisive, no hesitation.
  • Accept yourself as who you are, flaws et al.
  • Successful relationships are built upon the individual’s strong sense of identity.

You live and work in a system – people, environment, inner thoughts etc all cumulatively and simultaneously contribute to your results in life. Life is feedback and you must have the sensory acuity to take advantage of it.

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